What's Your Love Language?

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What’s Your Love Language?

Relationships thrive off two people loving each other and forming emotional connections. Everyone knows this, but what is less obvious is understanding the different forms of love. Other people have different views of love because they have different love languages. Understanding what someone else’s love language is, can be the key to unlocking their heart.

Gary Chapman, the author of ‘The Five Love Languages’ series, proposed five ways people can show each other love. He said everyone has at least one love language that they favor above the others.

Here are the 5 love languages:


1. Quality Time

If Quality Time is your primary love language, you love having the full, undivided attention of someone. This isn’t ‘Time’ it’s ‘Quality Time’ so you love the energy the other person is giving off to you. If the other person is distracted by their phone or doesn’t listen, you will see this as unloving behavior.

2. Words of Affirmation

If Words of Affirmation is your primary love language, you love compliments, praise or just acknowledgment. Your love for others is easily influenced by the words spoken to you. An encouraging word like ‘I love you’ or a hurtful abusive word like ‘I hate you’ can either cause deep love or deep hate for that person.


3. Physical Touch

If Physical Touch is your primary love language, you respond well to hugs, high-fives and touches on the arm when done at the appropriate times. You love when you can comfortably be close to someone without any awkwardness. Any physical abuse is especially hurtful to you.


4. Acts of Service

If Acts of Service is your primary love language, you love anything people do to help ease the burden. For example, when someone helps you with your homework or does housework for you. It is important that people do this out of love, not out of obligation.


5. Receiving Gifts

If Receiving Gifts is your primary love language, you love when someone gives you gifts they put a lot of time, thought and effort into. It is not about the number of gifts, which can be seen as materialism. A rushed gift or card makes you feel like they don’t care enough to make any kind of effort.

Often the reason relationships don’t work out is because we project our own love language onto other people. Your love language may be more of a ‘meh’ to someone else. If you give someone thoughtful gifts when their love language is Quality Time, they may not see that as loving.

If you understand someone else’s love language you will have a better understanding and relationship with them. Every person is different, some have more than one love language. I would encourage you to take the test and ask the people you love to do the same.


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